Hey Tumblr.
You may call me TJ. I'm 23 years old. I'm kind of a modern version of a caveman; eat, sleep and TV/comp. I live on my own, trying to figure out my life. I'm starting my 4th semester in university in 2012, English, Media and Marketing.
Welcome to my world.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
It’s been 5 weeks and 2 days exactly since the night you left me. At first I thought that yeah, I’d just move on… Now I’d have freedom to do whatever I wanted, when I wanted… Some peace, no kids always waking us at 6 or 7 in the morning… I could finally watch some TV again without any interruptions… Yeah, it all seemed fine in the beginning… Wasn’t the first time you left me behind… Each time the heart just builds up another wall, making it harder for you get back in. To many I would probably seem as a “cold” guy, just pretending it never happened, that you don’t even exist… But truth of the matter is that you’re on my mind 24/7, all the things I imagined to do.. the freedom - the “freedom”… It’s something I don’t want. I feel more trapped now than ever. I miss you, every single second of the day and my heart is bursting.. begging me to tell you, but my mind just won’t let me. I love you with my entire heart and soul, more than I could ever imagine loving someone… And being without you has sent me into a state where I just don’t know what to do… Sleep seems to be the only true escape, since every moment spent awake, you’ll be there. I’ve spent 12 hours just today, sleeping, because being awake feels empty… I miss you more than anything… and in my sleep, I seem to be able to find peace… I find you and I feel alright again..
I do now realize that all this “freedom” isn’t something I’m built for. I want to wake up with you, listen to all the good and the bad that happens.. help you out.. Have the kids around and just experience you being the incredible mother that you are.. It fills my heart with pride knowing that you were mine, and I was yours. I want to be the one you come to when you need help or nothing at all. I want to just be there. Be your rock as you were mine. I wanted to be the last one you thought of every night and I loved being there the moment you woke up. You were the best to ever have happened to me, I’ll gladly admit it… but it hurts to know that you don’t need me the way that I need you. And through it all, I’ll gladly do it all again.. Be everything I can possibly be for you. But please… Never forget that I will be there for you still, my feelings haven’t changed one bit and my heart is still yours, and I will wait for you… even if it feels hopeless. I love you, always.
